Why Our Family Posed, by Kelly

Monday, October 29th, 2012

I was raised in a middle class hardworking family in small town Iowa. I grew up attending a conservative church. My husband's and my exposure to gay culture was nil up until three years ago when our youngest son told us he was gay. We were shocked beyond belief. Everything we had been taught about relationships through family, church, and society indicated to us our son had made a choice that was sinful and wrong. I cried for weeks after he came out. My husband did not accept the fact our son was gay and it made for a very stressful time in our family.

My son and I have always been close, which made his coming out even more shocking. He had never given any indication he was gay. Why would he? He was told on a continual basis from me, our church, his grandparents, & society that being gay is a sin & anyone who is gay will go to Hell. He listened to homophobic jokes and slurs within in our family. He was so saddened knowing "who he was." My son once told me he had thought of suicide during his high school years because he knew the effect his orientation would have on his family. I have always loved my son & I could not begin to fathom the thought of him not being in our lives. I began to listen to him with an open mind and as I listened I also opened my heart.


I can honestly say my son's coming out was one of the greatest blessings that has happened in our family. Not only do I have a wonderful son, but I also have many treasured friends in the gay community. What's really cool is they love & accept me even though I was initially so close minded. I feel it's important to tell you that hearts can change. My family is living proof. I hear so many stories about LGBT people rejected by their friends and/or family and I realize our son could have easily been one of these people. Anyone who does not feel accepted by their family needs to know that you are loved and accepted by ours. I also feel it's important to let you know that contrary to the teachings of some religions; Jesus loves you. He loves all His children. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise.

On a very important note: Over time my husband accepted our son. He too loves our son unconditionally and this type of love can change hearts. Our NOH8 photo speaks volumes as to how our family has evolved over the last three years. Love always wins.



Very touching story. I hope your family is still happy together.

Simona Loužilová 01/06/2014 14:22

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